For Old Time's Sake...

I'm a little sad to say that for the last time in my undergraduate college career I am posting on my blog to avoid writing an essay. Okay, who am I kidding? I'm ecstatic! The thought that sixteen years of school are about to come to a close is overwhelming to say the least. Maybe that's why I've been stalling writing this paper. I've been thinking about it for a few weeks now, idly toying with thesis after thesis, eventually rejecting all of them and deciding that I'll start tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow. Could it be that I don't actually want this experience to end? Part of me says get me out of here, I'm tired of this, I can't write another paper. Then I think about the good stuff, like sitting on the couch at 4 o'clock in the morning with the roommates talking about Pavlov's dog, or walking home after a long day of school through that garden south of Landis Hall, or wandering through the stacks of Strozier Library picking books to skim based solely on their covers, or that amazing feeling of being done, done, DONE!, if only for the summer.

Speaking of summer, I was over at Curt's house (no surprise) and whilst standing there in the evening sunshine waiting for him to come to the door, I smelled summer. First it was just a waft of something, so I moved around the corner and the smell got stronger. It was that sweet smell, like a flowery bush heavy with blooms. I couldn't see it, but it was nearby, maybe in the neighbor's yard. And for a moment, I was six again, catching bumble bees in a Mason jar off that bush by the driveway. That's what it smelled like, that bush by the driveway. Then Curt came out and caught me thinking about dandelion bracelets, sun tea and backyard baseball (behind-the-meat-house baseball after we broke the parlor window).

So, it feels like summer in Tallahassee. For some reason it's been unseasonably pleasant for this time of year. Usually by the end of April it's unbearably hot and on the verge of being sticky, but these last few weeks have been full of days that make you walk slower to class and sunshine that makes you feel sorry for people who live in Minnesota. Perhaps everything is rose tinted by the nostalgia I'm starting to feel, but somehow I think God made these last few weeks just for me.

The Reading List 2007

Last year I posted a list of books I wanted to read and books I did read. Sadly I failed miserably in reading most of those books. This summer I will try again. Here goes.

Laura's List of Books to Read (in no particular order):

• Cold Mountain - Charles Frazier
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - J.K. Rowling (duh)
• White Teeth - Zadie Smith (Purchased for class, but we didn't get to it)
  
• Brick Lane - Monica Ali (see note to previous)
• Arthur and George - Julian Barnes (see note to previous)
  
• Flags of Our Fathers - James Bradley (just need to finish it)
  
• To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
• Slaughterhouse-Five - Kurt Vonnegut
• The Catcher in the Rye - J. D. Salinger
• Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
• Band of Brothers - Stephen Ambrose
  

Not on the List, but Read Anyway:

• Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
• Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
• Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
• Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
• Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
• Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
  
• Beyond Band of Brothers - Dick Winters
• Bridge to Terabithia - Katherine Paterson
  

Maybe I'll make this an annual thing starting every summer. We'll see.

Thoughts About Virginia Tech

I'm having difficulty writing about what has happened this week. There are so many things to process, and somehow I feel close to this. I've been a Hokie all my life (my cheering order: Florida State, Virginia Tech, Florida, not-Miami), and to think of tragedy striking my pastoral Virginia countryside is beyond comprehension. This kind of crap doesn't happen there, it just doesn't. Yet it has. So, here are some questions that have been running through my brain that I thought I would process through writing for my own sake.

Why would God let this happen?
I don't know. Can any of us know while we still live on this earth? Maybe not. But that is okay. I trust that God is in control and He has a plan. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" It's hard to see hope three days after something like this happens, but it will come. I remember when 9/11 happened it seemed like nothing redeeming could come out of it, but then we heard about the people who jumped the hijackers and crashed in Pennsylvania. And for the first time in my memory, the United States was truly united by something. I have no doubt that through this God will be glorified in some way. He always is.

What does that mean for colleges around the United States and the world?
Well, for one thing, Florida State University now has my cell phone number for use in case of an emergency situation like this. Other than that, I don't think much will change. Security might be tighter for a while (I saw more FSUPD Officers walking around campus on Tuesday than ever before), but eventually the caution will fade away. Most universities are set up in such a way that authorities can't monitor the comings and goings of students (and non-students). Ted Bundy was auditing classes at FSU in the weeks prior to murdering two girls in the Chi Omega house.

What good is a Candlelight Vigil when they aren't acknowledging the God who has the power to change things?
Maybe I'm being callous, but I don't see any point in standing around holding candles when there's no praying happening. The promises made by the student body president, vice president, and the university president really aren't going to amount to anything. Perhaps they are only trying to show support for Virginia Tech. I'm all for that, but instead of blowing hot air, why don't they get on their knees and pray?

How long do we have to wait until Michael Moore turns this into another anti-gun campaign?
Hopefully forever. Frankly, turning this into a political soapbox is utterly classless.

Will the VT President/VT Police Chief get fired?
I hope not, they did what they could. It's not like high school where there's a PA system. E-mail is the only way most universities can communicate with the entire student body. As I mentioned, FSU had all its students [voluntarily] register their phone numbers in case of extreme emergency so they can send text messages to everyone no matter where they are. But if it had happened to us, our administration couldn't have done much more.

Anyway, that's just a few of the things I've been thinking about in the last few days. There are many more questions that have been stewing which I may or may not write about here. But right now, I should be asleep because I have a final exam tomorrow.

Cougar Pride

I went home this weekend initially because my friend Sarah was getting married. But the weekend quickly became about Aida, and not Sarah. My alma mater put on Elton John & Tim Rice's Aida for their spring musical, and I have to say, it was amazing. It was almost as good as Les Miserables, and that's saying something. The girl that played the title character also played Evita last year opposite Keith. Her performance in that show was lackluster. She hit the notes, but it didn't have much soul. This year she carried the show. She hit the notes. She became the character. The costumes overall were excellent, especially considering that the majority of the clothes were constructed by the cast. It was a really great show.

Every time I go back to University High for the shows, I am reminded how lucky I was to go to a school where they have directors that are that good. My high school isn't a theatre magnet, we put out possibly the best shows in Orlando (okay, maybe I'm a tad bit biased, but then again, maybe not). This year the large group musical got Critic's Choice at the District Thespian Competition (the absolute highest honor in the district). They will be performing it in the opening ceremonies at the State Thespian Competition.

I don't know any of the kids on stage anymore. The last of my little freshmen graduated last year (along with my brother), but I still like going back, if only because they are putting on good theatre, especially for a high school.

UPDATE: UHS is doing an Encore performance of Aida this coming weekend. If you want to see it, contact me and I can find out details.

The Last Days

Every time I draw near to the end of something, I'm filled with this horrible sense of nostalgia. It doesn't matter if I haven't particularly enjoyed something, or have been rather apathetic towards the entire experience, without fail I have the urge to take pictures and see the sights. I've thought about making a list of things that I should have done instead of sleeping away sunny Tallahassee Saturday mornings. It might look like this: 1) Visit MacLay Gardens; 2) Run stadiums at Doak; 3) have breakfast with someone; 4) Play frisbee golf at Tom Brown Park; 5) Try a local restaurant. I've thought about making this list, but have decided that such an endeavor would doubtless result in regret and frustration at myself for being a lazy bum on Saturday mornings. So, I'm not making a list. My list of 'lasts' is making me nostalgic enough. For example, the last time I'll: 1) have to sign off on cleaning the bathroom; 2) see a School of Theatre production on Theatre night; 3) go home for the weekend; 4) go to a movie at the SLB; 5) make a house dinner.

I went to see The Philidelphia Story in the Fallon Theatre tonight, and as I sat during intermission, it occured to me that four years ago I was in the same theatre listening to the dean talk about the School of Theatre and all of the opportunities we would have.

There is a countdown on my door to graduation, and with each passing day, I grow more and more uneasy. Graduation from college is so much different than graduation from high school. At the end of high school, I knew where I was going. I had four years at Florida State University ahead of me. Now, my future is uncertain. I have no idea where I will be in one year's time. That scares me a lot. I was talking to one of my roommates earlier today and she asked me what I'm passionate about, and I said, I don't know. I thought college was a time when you're supposed to find yourself, and figure out who you are and discover this thing that you're really good at and that you want to do for the rest of you life. Well, it wasn't. At least not for me.

So in two weeks time, I'll be floating.

The Difference

(note: I began this post many moons ago and have returned to it periodically to finish it)

The other day a memory floated into my consciousness of a speech given to the returning students of the Florida State University School of Theatre by our founding Dean. Most of the contents are now blurred and inconsequential, but something he said stuck in my mind. "The theatre is a temple!" He said it several times with greater passion at each utterance. He reminded me of a preacher I saw in in Barbados who rocked the stage during his sermon. You could tell by the tone in his voice that he believed it with all his heart.

So I got to thinking, what does that mean, exactly? The theatre is a temple. What is a temple? A place of worship. So who or what are we worshiping? Do we join our theatrical forefathers in Greece and celebrate the human body? Art? Creativity? An actor's ego?

If the theatre is a temple, what god does a theatre goer or professional theatrical practitioner (fancy term for drama nerd) worship? It's people. Humanity. The power of man to create, to lie (that's what acting is, after all), to move, to sing, to be human. Now I ask, is that something we want to worship? Does it stop there, or does it go on to the creator of humanity? I can assure you, in most cases it is not the later.

That is one great difference between Christians and the apathetic masses: we know who we're worshiping. We have a relationship with Him. It's not some vague idea that we slap a stage under and start bowing to. I've read quite a few plays this semester for my classes, and so many of them ask, "why are we here"? They're looking for something to worship. In the end, they don't find it. They never find it.

Not So Bad After All

Having sufficiently bashed the Blogger improvements to the Layout editor last week, I'm now going to have to say that I kind of like it. Now that I've finished wrestling with the system trying to get my blog back to normal/slightly improved normal, I like the changes they've made. They actually do make things easier. What would have taken me thirty seconds in HTML now takes me fifteen. Hundreds more of those and I can get back the five hours total that I spend re-customizing my blog page last week.