Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

"US President Barack Obama is trying to secure an invitation for the Queen to attend the official D-Day commemorations in France on Saturday." Maybe he can give her the latest season of "24" on DVD.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Valentine's Day

It's almost Valentine's Day around here, a day in which I rarely see the sky due to the large volume of whale-sized balloons floating above my head. I didn't mind Valentine's Day so much in high school; there lived a small hope inside me that at some point in time I too would be able to carry one of those ridiculous balloons around all day. College wasn't so bad either, because there were a large number of people just as bitter as I who encouraged the wearing of black t-shirts in observance of Single's Awareness Day. Here on the other end of both, I just want to take a pair of scissors to the balloons and explain ever so kindly to the giggly girls that the oh-so-sweet boys just wants to get in their pants. They shed a tear as the leaking balloons lay in piles around my feet. Alas, cutting devices are frowned upon in public high schools.*

Happy Valentine's Day.

*Hyperbole.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

I Might, Just Might, Be Completely Screwed

I had this feeling today, the feeling I get when we're very very close to an extended break (Christmas, Spring, Summer, etc.). The feeling that there's only a little while longer until all of my pain and student-inflicted suffering will be put on hold and I can do what I really want to do (sleep). Then I realized: it's the first Tuesday after Christmas break. Thus, no long breaks for two months. Thus, I'm royally screwed.

Excuse me, I think I'll go cry now.