The Last Days

Every time I draw near to the end of something, I'm filled with this horrible sense of nostalgia. It doesn't matter if I haven't particularly enjoyed something, or have been rather apathetic towards the entire experience, without fail I have the urge to take pictures and see the sights. I've thought about making a list of things that I should have done instead of sleeping away sunny Tallahassee Saturday mornings. It might look like this: 1) Visit MacLay Gardens; 2) Run stadiums at Doak; 3) have breakfast with someone; 4) Play frisbee golf at Tom Brown Park; 5) Try a local restaurant. I've thought about making this list, but have decided that such an endeavor would doubtless result in regret and frustration at myself for being a lazy bum on Saturday mornings. So, I'm not making a list. My list of 'lasts' is making me nostalgic enough. For example, the last time I'll: 1) have to sign off on cleaning the bathroom; 2) see a School of Theatre production on Theatre night; 3) go home for the weekend; 4) go to a movie at the SLB; 5) make a house dinner.

I went to see The Philidelphia Story in the Fallon Theatre tonight, and as I sat during intermission, it occured to me that four years ago I was in the same theatre listening to the dean talk about the School of Theatre and all of the opportunities we would have.

There is a countdown on my door to graduation, and with each passing day, I grow more and more uneasy. Graduation from college is so much different than graduation from high school. At the end of high school, I knew where I was going. I had four years at Florida State University ahead of me. Now, my future is uncertain. I have no idea where I will be in one year's time. That scares me a lot. I was talking to one of my roommates earlier today and she asked me what I'm passionate about, and I said, I don't know. I thought college was a time when you're supposed to find yourself, and figure out who you are and discover this thing that you're really good at and that you want to do for the rest of you life. Well, it wasn't. At least not for me.

So in two weeks time, I'll be floating.