Pet Peeves

I didn't think I had pet peeves. Sure, there were things that bugged me a little bit, but nothing that drove me really insane. Then I became a teacher. I now have several. The most prevalent is the mispronunciation of words/use of words that don't exist.

Here are the top three, with plenty of snark on the side:
Anyways. It's not a word (okay, maybe it was in the 13th Century, but it's not standard today). But somewhere along the line, teenagers must have decided that since there are multiple 'ways' there must be multiple 'anyways,' which is, of course, not the case. Somehow, it wormed itself into even the smartest of students' vocabulary and frequently rears its ugly S-shaped head. I do my best to battle the unnecessary 'S' wherever I may find it. I am slightly ashamed to admit that I too have on occasion succumbed to its awful powers. But thankfully, the light of proper grammar always shines through, and I return to the singular 'anyway.'

Supposably. This, I'm guessing, comes from the lack of written word in teenagers' lives. They heard the word 'supposedly' but have never seen it written, so their brain didn't have anything to connect it to. I believe the term for a misheard word is mondegreen, but I could be wrong. Anyway, we now have supposably, a bane of my existence. And now, a short anecdote: I once was lecturing about Greek theatre history and used the word 'supposedly.' A hand shot up in the back row. Ah, I thought, an eager young mind! and nodded for the student to speak. I was simultaneously amused and appalled by what I heard. "Miss," the student said, "don't you mean 'supposably?'"

Ax. No, not the tool used to chop wood, the verb meaning 'to inquire of'. That's right, fair reader, medieval weaponry has been confused with the simple, harmless verb 'ask'. I'd heard this mispronunciation many times before I began teaching, but the frequency since has driven me to the edge of frustration, so much that I've even created a sign. It reads, "No! You may not AX me a question. You may, however, ASK me a question." One of my students read the sign yesterday, tilted his head to one side and said, "I don't get it." I hope that means he's never heard the wonderful word 'ask' slandered in this manner.

So, one year of teaching and I now have pet peeves. Oh, and I hate being called 'Miss'. I have name, thanks.