Baby Steps

Someone asked me in the first few months of teaching what my goals were for my Drama program. I didn't really know how to answer; my best response was basically that I wanted it to be like the drama program when I was in high school. That was my goal two years ago, and still is, to a certain extent. But now I approach the question with a slightly more educated and realistic eye (is that the best way to say that? I don't know). My ultimate goal is to be able to put on excellent productions that are primarily student run. I want to be able to sit in the front row and watch, without having to worry that there will be some disaster backstage that will require my immediate attention.

That is a pretty lofty goal, especially from where I'm standing. But I think it's doable. Here are a few steps we need to take towards excellence:

1. Establish a sense of pride in the program as a whole and in the quality of work. At this point, we don't know what a really excellent program or even an excellent production looks like, nor do we know what it takes to get there. I need to start showing my students what excellence looks like. We need to go watch other people who are being excellent. This has its pitfalls. The tendency might be for them to compare themselves, rather than take it as inspiration to do better.

2. Get out of the mindset that we can wait until the last minute to pull it off "because we always do." I think this is what has killed us with "The Foreigner." A few strategic people have established the attitude among the cast that later is okay, so we've taken far too long to get off book, and find costumes, know our cues. In today's rehearsal, we were where we needed to be about two weeks ago because two weeks ago, I was still yelling at people to be off book, and they were still making excuses. This is a great segue into my final point.

3. I need to be a jerk about things like missed rehearsal/tardiness, and missed deadlines. I don't know how to do it. I don't have the heart to tell someone who has been in rehearsal for a month that they won't be in the show because they aren't off book, or because they missed 3 rehearsals, or because they were late a few times. How do I tell a parent that their kid is out of the play because they had some kind of obligation and didn't tell me in advance? In reality, I HAVE to if I want the program to succeed. Teaching them that being there sometimes is not okay. Aside from the difficulties of trying to rehearse or block a scene without a character, it also destroys a sense of trust among the cast. How can I expect one person to rely on the other to make an entrance or know a cue if they aren't even at rehearsal?

[Insert Witty and Alliterative Title Here]

So, I obviously haven't been writing much on here lately. I think it's a combination of school starting back up, then Vision '13, then the fall show starting up (The Foreigner, November 5, 6, 7 @ 7pm, November 8 @ 2:30), and online reading courses starting up--not learning to read, I know how to do that, learning to teach reading. Next week I begin my ESOL course, which, sadly isn't online, so I loose another two evenings out of my week.

Anyway, life has been busy, but good for the most part. There are, as always, the normal complaints about teaching and working in general, but I think I'm okay with that garbage. Sadly, getting okay means that I feel like I'm falling into a rut. Oh, the ever dreaded rut. Ruts are bad. Ruts are what make me feel like I need to get out of said rut. Ruts are indicative of discontent.

Basically, I'm going through a quarter life crisis.

I was at a meeting for area drama teachers a few weeks ago, and I sat there looking at the faces around the table wondering, "Is this my life in 10 years? Really?" What happened to doing something adventurous? Now, I know on the grand scale of things, my job is pretty sweet. I get nice long summers, and two weeks at Christmas, and a week for Thanksgiving, and Spring Break and I don't have to clean toilets. And don't get me wrong, I love my students. Sometimes I catch myself imagining what the program will look like in two or three years when my freshmen are upperclassmen, and they know how I roll. And then I imagine the dark circles under my eyes and the slight hint of madness etched on my face. I don't know if I'm that resilient.

On the Eve of a New Year

Well, summer has come to end, and I'm staring a new school year in the face. I also have a terrible case of insomnia. Dang it.

I am incredibly un-enthused about this school year. I'm going into it without knowing a lot of things, and with more work than I had last year, and with less room for error just because it's my third year, and not my first or second. Also, we're going back to the 7:20 start time. I'm not a morning person. At all. In one sense, I'm glad that I'll get out of rehearsal at 5pm instead of 6:30, that I'll get to see something other than school in the daylight. On the other hand, anything I do before 9am is basically rubbish.

As frequent readers of this here blog might remember, I'm a worrier. It's what I do. Also, I like lists. So here, in no particular order, are things I'm worried about this year:

- Fall play. I'm not sure what it is yet. Both options have their own separate set of problems.
- I don't have a good strong senior leader. This could be a problem.
- My classes are all a jumble, and they may stay that way all year long.
- I had a couple of GREAT classes last year, and I'm afraid my standards for awesome are completely shot. Forever.
- No strong Senior leader.
- I had some really awful students last year, and I don't want their kind again. Ever.
- Musical. Don't know what it is yet. Also, no seniors (it seems ridiculous a little, but they're REALLY important).
- One Act. Don't know what it is yet.
- Certification stuff. Should have done it this summer. Didn't. Will invariably do it on the night before it's due and have Dad proof read it. Just kidding. But seriously.
- Two more preps this year than last year. Didn't do them over the summer (in my defense, I didn't know that I had them, one of them I found out about YESTERDAY, dang it.)
- Did I mention that I don't have a strong Senior leader?

Musical Anxiety

I was examining my calendar this evening in a feeble attempt to get some kind of rehearsal schedule down on paper when I realized that the first day of rehearsal for Guys and Dolls is less than a month away! Gah! How did it sneak up on me that fast? Anyway, I have a lot of work to do between then and now. So I'm starting to freak out. That's just what I do. Freak out. It can't be particularly healthy, but it's my natural reaction to basically everything. That, and procrastination, which only compounds the effect.

I sat down with the script today and was trying to figure out exactly how many people I need in this thing. Here's the problem: I HAVE NO IDEA! Having never directed a musical before, I don't know what my style is, and therefore don't know if I should over cast this thing and have wings stuffed full of people that aren't absolutely necessary, or do I go with the bare minimum and have people playing three or four or five roles (walk ons, but roles nonetheless).

So, I have all of this preparation to do to get ready for the musical, as well as a whole bunch of things to do to get ready for Districts in two weeks and State in April. State is in April, but I have to start the paperwork now because it's out of county. Ugh, why can't they all suddenly be 18 and responsible for themselves?