The Interview and a Broken Brain

I had my Teach for America phone interview today. I am preparing myself for the worst. Around 3 PM my heart started pounding, and I jumped when the phone rang. I repeated myself a lot, and I was having difficulty putting together coherent thoughts. I'm a lot better at writing my thoughts than verbalizing them, and that showed today.

Lately I've been having this problem with my brain. It doesn't work. My professor will ask a question and instead of threads and connections popping into my head, it is blank. Absolutely nothing. Expressing myself has become increasingly difficult, and I'm finding it frustrating. I've never been good at talking, I tend to stutter some times and trip over my words. I'll switch letters (litch swetters) around and have to repeat myself several times. This doesn't help in a phone interview, when the only thing communicating is my voice. My shaking, unsure voice. Frankly, that's why I prefer silence.

I'm sure some good will come of this. For one thing, the snide remarks that usually fly from my mouth tend to stay in my brain, fearing that they will come out a jumble of words trailing off into a muttered, "never mind." Fewer snide remarks is good.

It has grown progressively worse in the last few weeks, and I'm beginning to get worried. What if this is a sign of something seriously wrong? I know, what are the odds of that? But I've never been reduced to saying, "my brain isn't working today" in English class. Never. And frankly, it's embarrassing.