What Are You Afraid Of?

Ever since I was a little girl, I've had an overactive imagination. I used to hate going to the bathroom at night because there was a shadow in the back stairs which looked, to my childish eye, like the Egyptian god Anubis. Eventually I grew out of my fear of the shadow monsters, but I still find myself falling prey to the unseen terrors in my life. Sometimes it stops me from writing what I want to write on this blog (which isn't necessarily a bad thing, especially when it comes to work). Other times it just raises my blood pressure and begins hours of useless worry.

This evening, the end of a particularly bad day, I ask myself, "What are you afraid of?" And perhaps more importantly, why?

On the bright side, I passed my General Knowledge Exam. Whoo hoo.

Fact: Free Time Leads to Slacking

I've known since my high school days and especially the summers of watching the same movies over and over again (Mulan one year, The Emperor's New Groove another) that I don't get anything done if I'm not really busy. In a way, I'm glad that summer is over so that I can get back to being productive. In other ways, I'm sad to see the summer go. The Olympics ended today, and although it was getting a bit tiresome going to work exhausted from staying up too late watching some event, I will miss the pageantry and the weird sports (what's with syncro diving?). But the sports void will soon be filled with college football and the regular fare, so I'm sure I won't miss it too much.

More than the demise of anything else I associate with summer, its end means the beginning of school. Although I spend most of my vacation time feeling pretty useless, it's time that I'm not stressed out. This school year, if it's anything like last year, promises stress, short nights, long work days and mistake after mistake which I will have to fix. The most stressful thing is the ever present worry that one of my mistakes might get someone hurt or get me fired. That seems ridiculous, I know. I tell myself that every time it pops into my head. But it doesn't change the periodical reminders that teachers (especially young ones without tenure) are essentially at the mercy of their students in many ways. It doesn't help that I'm supposed to be teaching my students about things which are inherently dangerous, like power tools and fly systems.

Anyway, if you're wondering why I haven't been writing, blame it on summer.

Interesting (and unrelated) observation: I've been having a hard time writing in paragraphs lately. I spend so much time around drama and dialogue that I've started thinking in it. I can bang out a conversation about something pretty quickly, but paragraphs and narration are something of a trial. I'm pretty sure it's not a good thing.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I love sports, so it goes without saying that the Olympic Games every four years (or two if we're counting the Winter Games) are a highlight of the year. I love everything about them. Growing up, I remember the lighting of the torch with a flaming arrow at Barcelona, and a shaking Muhammed Ali lighting the torch in Atlanta. I remember watching Kerri Strug make that famous vault to win the Gold Medal in the Gymnastics Team competition. I remember watching in horror as the Russians won gold over the Canadians in figure skating (okay, that's Winter Olympics, but who cares) in 2002. And I love watching the sports that you only get to watch every four years because of lack of interest in the States.

More than watching the sports, I like hearing about the people. The athletes worked incredibly hard to get to Beijing, and it's fun to celebrate with them when they succeed, and feel for them when they fall short.
Anyway, if you need me, I'll be in front of the TV, rooting for Team USA (that sounds so 90s for some reason).

The End of a Languid Summer

Well, it's August. The new school year begins in a couple of weeks. Although one week of freedom remains, I have accomplished very little this summer. There was plenty of sleeping, reading for fun, playing Nintendo, and absolutely no working. It is generally around this time of year, at the end of periods such as this that I begin to feel particularly worthless. I've been unable to motivate myself to actually get things done, save for a few days here and there. A handful of days of productivity in two full months of vacation.

I remember feeling this way at the end of the summer before my Senior year of high school. I'd put off all of my summer work until that last week and spent most of it researching, writing, translating and reading.

I've been so lazy this summer that I've hardly written anything, and have failed to meet my post quota again. Let's hope the school year gives me something to write about.

Here, in the spirit of self-loathing, is list of things I wanted to do this summer and didn't:

• Learn at least 2 new songs on the piano
  
• Read 6 plays (I read 4)
• Find a One Act to do at Districts
  
• Redo my room
• Loose 20 pounds (I've lost 10-ish. Okay, 8-ish)
• Design the Fall play (I've done one [bad] sketch)
• Write lesson plans for the first 2 semesters of school (ambitious, I know)
• Make something
• Grow spiritually
• Learn how to care for theatrical lights

Thing I have done:

• Cleaned my room (hey, that's an accomplishment)
• Watched a whole lot of movies (yay Netflix)
• Doodled a LOT
• Learned to play "Sweet Home Alabama" on the guitar
• Beaten Mario Kart Wii
• Beaten Super Mario Galaxy
• Beaten Battalion Wars II (are you getting a good picture of my summer?)
• Finished Pride and Prejudice
• Slept a LOT