Options

I've been aware for quite some time that within the next few months I will make decisions that will influence the course of my life. No pressure, right? I have several options laid out in front of me, all of which are appealing, all of which have their drawbacks. So, here's me thinking through some of these.

STINTing Somewhere:
This is indubitably one of the coolest options. I would go to some foreign country (maybe Barbados, maybe somewhere else) for a year, perhaps two, and help to build a Campus Crusade for Christ ministry on some campus. How many people can say they've done that? Very very cool. And very very difficult. Talk about having a target on your back. Furthermore, I think I might be a little out of my league. I have this thing with talking (and listening) to people. See, I'm not very good at it (especially the listening). I tend to stutter a lot, and I can't put thoughts together on the fly. I say things which aren't intended to be rude or mean, but come out that way despite my best intentions. I'm flustered easily. Really, it doesn't seem like a good fit. I know, God equips the called, not calls the equipped. But still. I was reading Exodus the other day, the part where God speaks to Moses from the burning bush and Moses is trying to make excuses. Here's what it says (Exodus 4:10-12):

Then Moses said to the Lord, "Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither recently nor in time past, nor since Thou hast spoken to Thy servant; for I am slow of speech and slow of tongue." And the Lord said to him, "Who has made man's mouth? Or who makes him dumb or deaf, or seeing or blind? Is it not I, the Lord?
"Now then go, and I, even I, will be your mouth and teach you what you are to say."

There goes my argument about not being good at talking. But then again, God used Aaron as Moses' mouthpiece. Ah, there is hope for my argument yet! Maybe not. I don't know. Someone please shed some light.

Oh, very big downside: support raising. The whole talking thing comes to mind.

Anyway, on to the next option.

Jesus Film Travel Team
Again, very very cool. I would travel around the world recording the JESUS Film in various languages. Again with the cool, again with the difficult. But think about the number of people that will be exposed to the Gospel with those translations. Wow. Just wow. The traveling and literally seeing the world is a definite plus. Also, I would be doing something that is roughly in my area of study. Granted, I'm a theatre major, not film, but this deals with using art to spread the Gospel. Very cool. That is putting one of my passions (the arts) to use for the glory of God and possibly even seeing tangible results.

Downside: support raising. See above.

Teaching in Orlando
Not very cool. I'd probably be teaching high school English. We've all seen people that do that. It could be fun. It could be absolute torture. But on the plus side, I could live with my parents, which could be fun, or it could be absolute torture (no offence, Mom and Dad, it's just that I'd never know whose socks are whose...). And there is no support raising involved. But I would have to take a test and do the whole emergency certification thing and work towards getting certified. If I ended up at my Alma Mater I could learn to teach under some of the best teachers in Orange County (K-bo!), which would be really cool. But then again, I'd be at my Alma Mater, which has a tendency to smell funny and have extremely cold classrooms.

Downside: it's Orlando, who wants to live there?

Teach for America
It's like the Peace Corps, but not! This obviously has some similarities to Teaching in Orlando, except that instead of being in Orlando I would be in some big city in an urban environment, or way out in the boonies somewhere. Either way, I would be teaching students from low income families who didn't have mommies that read to them every night. It can't be denied that there is a serious need for teachers in the inner city and the like. Someone will fill the position in Orlando.

I had a meeting today with a Teach for America recruiter and the whole time I was thinking, "Wow, that sounds like something I might like to do!" Teaching has been at the back of my mind since I entered college. I remember how K-bo made me love English, and how I learned so much under some of my teachers, and I would love to have that kind of impact on someone else. Teachers are in a uniquely powerful position to effect the next generation for change. I would like to be someone who helped change it for the better. I also found out that one of the places they're sending people is New Orleans, and part of that job is going to be rebuilding as well. I was already thinking of possibly doing that anyway.

Oh, and there's full health benefits, and you get paid, and you can get certified to teach if you so desire, and you could get your Masters.

Downside: It's a hard program to get into. They are looking for leaders. I have doubts as to whether I am what they are looking for or not. The recruiter encouraged me to apply after a 45 minute conversation. But then again, how well can she judge after a 45 minute conversation?

I am again faced with the question "Am I a leader"? I honestly don't know. I'm not one to jump up and say, yes, give me that responsibility, I'll do it. Follow me, I know what to do. I didn't run for class president, I don't lead a Bible study with Crusade. But is that really what a leader is? I've always thought that good leaders must first be servants (I think it's in the Bible somewhere...I'm too tired right now to figure out if it actually is). I've always thought of myself as the horse pulling the plow, not the farmer guiding it (or however that works, I don't really know). I'm not an visionary, but when someone gives me a job, I find a way to do it.

They're also looking for people with perseverance. I made it through IB, does that count?

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There are other options too, I could go to New Orleans and help with the reconstruction efforts, but I haven't really looked into that too much. Or I could hide in my room until Jesus comes back, which is my personal favorite. Is there such a thing as a Protestant Nun? I do look good in black...

Anyway, this is the stuff that has been bouncing around in my head for the last couple of days, and I'm sure it will continue to bounce over the next few weeks. So you could be praying for that, and praying for me as I seek after God's will for my life. Wow, that sounded very spiritual of me. Sometimes I really wish God had just inspired a very long appendix to the Bible that was full of his plans for our lives....and God said, "Laura, thou shalt do Teach for America, write a sickeningly inspirational book about it, become famous, be offered the chance to write the screenplay, and have a cameo in the Oscar winning film version of your life..."

But then again, where would the suspense be?